Who was Jesus? Did He really mean the things He said? Who am
I? Will I give it all away or simply walk away? Where do grace, love, and works
meet? What is the Kingdom of God? Why doesn't the Church ever ask these hard
questions or come to face these things? I can do everything, sell everything,
give everything, and if I have not love/God, I'll be nothing; living under a guilt
ridden conscious and a vicious cycle of trying to earn grace. God, give me Your
love and grace. Teach me what it means to live in and through these.

Regret. I've roughly got around 45 days left in Africa, and
thinking about leaving has become bitter -sweet. Everyone keeps telling me to
finish strong, to leave it all in Africa, but I honestly have no clue what that
means. I sometimes think of what I would have done differently, and soon come
to realize that God had me go through all that I did for His greater purpose. I
don't want to regret anything, but I always come to ask myself if I could have
done more? I guess we'll always live with that thought, because the truth is
that there is always more to be done. But, if we begin to focus on what we
could have done, instead of what we did do, we'll fall out of grace and back
into a guilt filled world. So, I guess all that's left to say is, "Grace to
it!!!"

I'm truly going to miss this place. And home will never
really be home anymore. I have to keep reminding myself that home is where the
heart is, with the people we love. But, what happens when you love people all
over the world, and your heart is torn for nations across vast waters?! I guess
that's when home finally becomes heaven!

I hope that as you read this, you really start to ask
yourself the questions in the first paragraph. Those questions hold the
potential to answer Jesus prayer. That "His kingdom would come and His will be
done on earth as it is in heaven."

Thank you all for keeping up with my crazy life over the
last 6 months. I hope you've been challenged by my blogs, as well as enjoyed
reading them.

God Bless You All!

Jon