If you've ever ventured outside of the US, you would know exactly what I'm talking about. While the western world never stops going, the rest of the world seems to have never started moving. The comparison is like The Tortoise and the Hare. It's hard to do anything because the small things that we do don't seem sufficient. Not constantly going, like we're used to, rapidly becomes overwhelming. I know that really doesn't make sense, but having hours a day on our hands has really begun to get to us. This place and the oppression that exists here rapidly begin to get to you, and you wonder why you're still here.

Are we exactly where God wants us, or is there something more? Are we missing something? These are the questions that flood my mind. I don't doubt that I'm supposed to be in Swaziland, but whether or not I'm supposed to be in this particular place for much longer has become a big question. My spirit is restless with this place. I feel as though something is missing here. I haven't really discerned whether that's God calling us to a different location, or if that's just me wanting to do more. I really don't even know what more means, but I know that it exists. There's more of His Spirit; more of walking in Him than what we're doing here. We learned what it meant to follow Christ, to walk in the will of the Father and the power of the Spirit, and it doesn't seem like there's much of that going on here. I guess I have to ask myself what I've done to change that, but it feels like we're contained in what we've been doing and there isn't much else to do.

I know that God is working through all this time. I also know that God brought me on this trip more for what He wanted to do in me than what was going to happen in Swaziland. We can't change a country in 6 months, and after a couple years and a few groups that come through here, the people will probably have forgotten our names and faces, but I will never forget what God did in me over these 8 months.

I know that this blog seems kind of pointless, but people wanted to know what we've been doing in Swaziland, and the answer is, God has been doing more in us than we've done or ever could do. When I get back home, I won't be able to show that in pictures, but I know that my life will be the picture I can show. Understand that I'm not questioning whether God has been using us, because He has, but I don't know if this is where He wants us for the rest of our time on this trip.

Please pray for clarity for us. I know we're definitely trying to figure out what God is doing, and what He wants us to do. I hope things pick up here, in my spirit I feel like there should be a lot more happening with our team. I'm no longer comfortable with sitting around! So, yeah, that's where I'm at right now.

Jon